AN UNLIKELY ANGEL

                                               

                                          By Jim Walls    page 1

 

      The plane was flying over the Rocky Mountain range on its way to Salem, Washington, with the Jenkins family on board. David Jenkins was flying his family to his wife's sister’s family home for the Christmas holidays. Also on board were David's wife, Melissa, their twelve-year-old son, Alex, and their five-year-old daughter, Alicia.

     David had rented the plane for the trip, opting to fly the family up there himself, rather than take a commercial flight and have the hassle of the holiday rush. While being a good pilot, he was no match for the sudden storm front that came in out of the north, bringing in with it a blinding, driving snow. The plane was buffeted like a toy in the strong winds. As he fought to keep the plane under control, Melissa tried to keep the kids calm.

     The whine of the engines could be heard over the howling wind as he tried to bring the plane back to level flight, but it was no use. The storm was beating the plane down, its nose tilting ever more downward.

     A bright flash of light came through the window, startling Thaddeus Morgan from his silent reverie. Alone in these mountains for all these many years, hundreds of miles from the nearest town, he knew that this must have been an airplane crashing into the mountain. The flash was not that of lightning, those he had long since become used to. Stepping to the window, he debated for a moment on whether or not to go investigate. Not because of the storm, but because he was afraid that he might find survivors.

     A strange fear for most everyone; but, for Thaddeus, it was a fear that ruled his life. He no longer wished to be around people. He moved here into the inner ranges of the mountains just to avoid contact with any and all people.

     Now he was faced with the choice of turning his back on potential survivors, survivors who wouldn't last long in this storm and cold, or facing his own worst fears.

     Grabbing his coat and a few supplies that might be needed for anyone who may have survived the crash, Thaddeus set out into the storm. As best he could tell, the plane went down just a few miles from his cabin. Even through the storm he should be able to make fairly good time.

 

 

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      It took him about an hour to reach the sight of the wreckage. The plane had caught on fire it had spread to some of the nearby brush. This lighted his way to the plane, which had been torn in two. Looking toward the fuselage, he could see the remains of two badly burned bodies in the cockpit. He could barely distinguish that one was male and the other female. There was nothing he could do for them now. He took a quick look around the crash site, looking for any other bodies, not expecting to find anything, when he heard a small moaning coming from under a fallen tree. Rushing over to the tree he found two seats protruding from underneath. One seat held a young boy, his head twisted in an unnatural position. His eyes staring wide in horror. Gently, Thaddeus closed the eyes. Rising to look over to the other seat, he could see a small little girl softly stirring in its restraints; one hand was held out, holding that of her brother's by the fingertips. They had landed close enough to each other that she could reach his hand, though she could not realize that the arm was no longer attached to the body of her older brother.

     Quickly, Thaddeus rushed to her side, pulled his coat off and laid it over her, "There...there little one. Everything's all right. I'm here to help you."

     The little girl moaned and rolled her head towards the sound of his voice. Her eyes were not quite responsive and her face was caked with blood. He looked at the blood on her face and was tempted to pull back, to run away and leave this place. It held his own doom in front of him. She held his doom. But then the little girl spoke, "Mama...Daddy," she whispered in her delirium. Thaddeus looked back at her hand, holding that of her brothers, and prying her fingers from around it, "I've got you sweetie. It's O.K.

     Carefully, he probed her body, looking for signs of any broken bones or other injuries. Not finding any, he undid her from her seat and gently laid her down on a blanket he had brought in his pack and wrapped her in its warmth. Looking around at where she had ended up during the crash it was a miracle that she had survived both it and the cold. Though, if it could be said under the circumstances, luck was on her side. Some nearby brush had caught fire from the flames of the plane and had provided her with enough warmth to keep her from going into shock.

     He gently lifted her in his arms and began the long trek back through the snow.

     "Daddy? Daddy I'm scared,' she muttered under her breath.

 

 

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      Thaddeus looked down into her eyes, they were unfocused and showed no sign of being able to see her surroundings. She was blind then, but whether it was from the crash or from before he did not know, "Rest little one. Your daddy...your daddy is with your mother and brother. They are being taken care of now by others, but you, little one, are going to have to go with me so that I can help you.

     Your parents said they love you and for you not to worry.

     O.K., little one? Can you do that? Can you be brave for them?"

     "Uh-huh. How come it’s so dark? I can't see you. And I'm a little scared."

     The area was still lit brightly by the still burning fires, "Its night time out, little one, that's why it’s dark. Don't worry; I can see well enough to get you back to my home. And once we're there I can take good care of you. But perhaps I should put a bandage over your eyes to take care of some little boo-boos you have around them. We wouldn't want them to get bad. That means you want be able to see for a while with them on, but I think it might be better for you to protect your eyes. O.K.?"

     Shivering in his arms, she said, "O.K."

     He was surprised by how well she seemed to be coping with the crash, but wasn't sure if her calm might not be a mild case of shock. Perhaps that was what was keeping her from crying. She definitely had plenty of reason to after her ordeal.

     The trip back took a little longer carrying the child. Carrying her was easy; she was like a feather in his arms. So delicate and frail, yet oddly strong and tough. He was impressed with her spirit and courage. But he was also afraid of her. Very afraid of her.

     She was at great risk with him, and yet, he was her only hope. She needed him to survive. But would she survive if he tried to help her or would she meet a different fate. A fate that he had met many years ago himself. The very reason he moved here. Moved here to get away from people. Moved here to get away from himself. Moved here to hide from the world.

     He was afraid. No, he was terrified.

     Here in the form of this little girl, was his doom. And here in him was her only hope.

 

 

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      The cabin had seemed like a safe haven where he could hide from the world without it’s intruding upon him. And now it had come crashing down on him.

     The very reason for his hiding out here in the desolate reaches of these mountains was so that he could not hurt anyone anymore. He didn't like what he had become. He hated himself for it and yet he could not deny it.

     And so it came to pass that the good in him won the fight and he chose exile for himself.

     An exile that would last forever.

     The little girl was not doing well. It had been several days since the crash and she had come down with fever. He had taken care of her injuries as best he could, but he was not a doctor. He had no real medical supplies. He had no need of them. He had no need, but she did.

     Alicia was her name. He had found this out that during the trip back to the cabin. She had slept a long time after he got her settled. Cleaning her up was a task that he had dreaded, but after looking at her innocence he new it was something that he must do. That his fear was something that he must also overcome.

     Cleaning the blood was the hardest part. Blood. His one weakness. The bane of his existence.

     Fearing the arrival of search parties, he had kept a close watch out the window for signs of search and rescue planes. The storm had abated a little but not much. Probably not enough to allow them to search so far in. The winds here were dangerous in the mildest of storms, but in these sudden winter storms, turbulence in the air could catch most anything that flies and send it ground ward.

     It became clear that if she were going to live, that he would have to take her to civilization. Take her to where she could be treated by doctors. His efforts had saved her life for now, but perhaps not for much longer.

     Telling her of his need to take her to town to a doctor without scaring her was easier than he thought. Asking her to be brave a little while longer he found out why she was as strong as she was.

     Her mother had told her during the moments before the crash that God was watching out for them and that her own personal guardian angel would be with her to take care of her and help her.

     She considered him to be her guardian angel.

 

 

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      If she only knew the truth. He was about as far from being an angel as you could ever be. He was a threat to her every moment. Every moment of every day brought him that much closer to what he had run away from. His mind fought with itself every time he looked at the girl. The warmth of her hand. The life in her body. Every moment brought him closer to his doom.

     Packing his bag with plenty of supplies for the long trek toward the nearest town, he bundled up his gear and his courage and set forth into the night.

     They traveled quickly. His physical strength was more than equal to the task of carrying the little girl on such a long journey, but it was not that strength in which he had his doubts. The miles passed quickly as he fought to keep his concentration on why he had made the choices he had in his life. This little girl was a test. Another test to see if he could live with what he was or if he could grow beyond it. No, he could not change who or what he was, but he could choose to fight it.

     And so they traveled, the winter storms still blanketing the mountains with fresh snow, as if it too were trying to test him. Trying to weaken his resolve. Trying to break him.

     On the third night out, he had made camp in the inner recesses of a small cave, not moving in the light of day but in the close security of night’s blanket.

     Even with the storm clouds overhead, he could not risk traveling in the hours of the day. And yet, this was when the rescuers, if there were any, would be out.

     The fragile life that lay out before him in her blanket by the fire had cried out to him. He could remember a time when he had dreamed of having a child. A child much like this one.

     And now he had one with him and she terrified him.

     As he slept, Alicia stirred from her sleep. She had been asleep for most of the journey. Occasionally stirring to an almost dazed consciousness, but always aware of the presence of her guardian angel, Thaddeus.

 

 

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      Pulling the bandages from her eyes she could see a blurry world of light and shadows. The light of the fire danced like a dream in front of her. Beside her lay her angel. Beyond the fire, the mouth of the cave. Outside she could see the impression of the sunlight. It drew her like a moth to a flame. She managed to crawl her way to the opening, smelling the fresh clean air that blew gently in. As the minutes past, her vision became clearer. She could focus on objects and begin to see clearly the world around her.

     Going back to the fire, she stared lovingly at her sleeping angel. He had come along and was taking care of her just like her mommy had said he would.

     She missed her family but was not worried as long as she was with her angel. She knew that everything would be all right.

     Going around the fire to lay next to Thaddeus, she rested her head on his chest and draped her arm across him. As her head lowered, her hair brushed against his face and woke him.

     "I love you, Mr. Angel," she whispered to her "sleeping ' angel.

     Thaddeus kept his eyes closed but a single tear rolled down his cheek.

     As night fell and Thaddeus packed their gear into his bag, a sound came from behind him at the entrance to the cave.

     A low growling rumbled through the cave. Alicia screamed as she saw the wolf at the entrance with its teeth bared and snarling mouth.

     Thaddeus turned swiftly and crouched low, placing himself between the wolf and Alicia.

     The wolf looked at Thaddeus and sniffed the air. It backed up a step and growled even louder. It barked at him as if unsure what it faced. Yet its stance was one of resigned defiance.

     Thaddeus looked at the wolf and spoke to it, "Leave here now and bother us no more." His voice was not raised but the intent was clear. The danger was clear. The wolf took the threat for what it was and moved to step closer, its teeth watering at the anticipation of the kill.

     And then Thaddeus himself stepped forward, his own face twisting into a raging snarl and his own fangs watering at the lust for sinking into flesh.

 

 

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      The wolf sensed this new threat and realized its danger. It quickly turned and ran from the cave as fast as its legs would carry it. Thaddeus started to chase after it and made it as far as the cave entrance when Alicia's voice brought him to a lurching stop, "You scared him away! Mr. Angel! You scared that mean doggie away!"

     Thaddeus froze in his tracks. His thirst for the kill still pounding in his veins. The hunger for fresh blood pounding in his brain. His mind fought to regain control of himself. To stop the hunger that threatened to turn on the girl. To take her life and drink it away.

     The bloodlust was shadowing his mind. He hungered to turn and drink from her body the life that her heart would pump forth from her neck and into his mouth. He would feast himself on her and revel in the ecstasy that he had denied himself for so long.

     "Mr. Angel, I love you."

     Noooo! Nooooo! He cried to himself as he dropped to his knees, his hands clutching at his head as he wrestled with himself.

     Nooo, he sobbed into the ground. Grabbing at the ground he pulled up a fist full of dirt and savagely hurled it out of the cave and cursed himself for being what he was. For lusting to kill both the wolf and then the girl. Cursed himself for being the demon that he was. That he was trying to hide from. His self-imposed exile was crashing down around him with the presence of this little girl. He was fighting a battle against his very nature. She should be no more to him than food. Food to feed him and sustain him. He had gone so long without the taste of human blood that her very presence was bringing his doom back to him.

     For so long he had learned to live off the blood of small rodents and other mammals, just enough to keep himself "alive" as it were, no longer feasting off the glory of draining a large animal or better yet the richness of a human life. His own moral dilemma at not taking a life and overcoming this curse had driven him into these mountains. Here he has lived for more than fifty years.

     Fifty years of hiding not only from the world but also from himself. Fifty years of trying to become other than what he was.

     Alicia got up and ran, as best she could to his side, "You were so brave! You saved me. I love you forever and ever."

     Thaddeus turned and grabbed the girl and hugged her close to his body,

"I'm not brave, little one. I'm scared. Very scared."

 

 

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      After a few more nights of traveling, they at last came upon a small road.

While not well traveled, it must surely lead him to someone. His need to get her to a doctor was even more pressing. The night after the incident with the wolf, Alicia had taken a turn for the worse. Her fever flared again, and Thaddeus could no longer keep it down. She was burning up inside and he knew that without any further delay, he must find help for her soon.

     He risked traveling during the day a little, a heavy cloud cover had rolled in and had kept the day almost as dark as night. But its affect on him was still evident. He was a creature of the night. The sun, no matter how little, no matter how filtered, was dangerous to him. The light of the sun unchecked could turn him into a smoldering mound of ash. This light, filtered as it was, while not able to destroy him, caused severe pain. His body would at times start to smoke as if it were ready to burn. When he could no longer take the pain any longer he would search out a cave or other shelter to rest and recover. During these times, he found his body wanting to restore itself by thirsting more for blood. For Alicia's blood.

     Each day his mind fought to keep its hold. Each day he would look at the girl, her soft blonde hair. Her upturned little nose and round cheeks, no longer rosy from the health a little child should have, but red from the fever that burned inside.

He could save her from death. He could drink from her and save both himself and her. She could become one like him. She could live forever. He could live forever with her as his daughter.

     He had almost given into to the hunger once and was about to lower his mouth to her neck, about to sink his teeth into her flesh and drink from when in her fevered delirium she began to talk, "Daddy...Mommy...help me...I'm scared!"

     "Alex...where are you?...mommy....my angel is here mommy...my angel...do you like my angel mommy...," and then she was quiet.

     Thaddeus turned from her and fell to the ground, his chest racking with sobs.

 

     The sky was lightening as the morning sun was coming over the distant ridge of the mountain. The cloud cover was thinning, allowing the sun to shine in brighter. Thaddeus was no longer able to move without discomfort, the days of traveling in the hours of the day had boiled his skin. His flesh was slowly being cooked. He was slowly being cooked alive.

     Thaddeus looked up at the dawning sky and could see breaks in the clouds. If he continued on he would not survive. If he stopped, then Alicia would not.

 

 

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      Torn between his own survival and that of Alicia's, he was about to give up hope when off in the distance he could hear the sound of an engine. It gave him strength. Strength and determination to carry on. Hoisting the girl up in his arms he stumbled on. Moving further down the road to the sound of the engine. Where there was an engine, there would be someone to run it.

     There would be someone to help Alicia.

     Rounding a bend, he saw a car stuck in the road. Its tires were stuck in the wet ground. A man was at the back trying to push the car, his wife inside trying to drive the car free.

     Thaddeus trudged forward calling out to the man, "Help! Help me!" Though his voice was weak, the man heard. He heard and turned around to see who was calling. His eyes opened wide in disgust at the sight before him. He saw a man that looked as if he had just walked through fire. Most of his hair had been burned off; his skin was hanging in places. The stench of burned flesh filled his nostrils with a sickeningly sweet aroma. And then he saw that this horribly disfigured man carried a child. Calling out to his wife he reached forward to the man and child.

     Thaddeus allowed the man to take Alicia from him, and slowly dropped to his knees.

     About that same time, the man's wife came around to the back of the car and she let out a startled gasp as she saw Thaddeus on the ground before her.

     Thaddeus looked up into the sky and saw the clouds giving way even more. He knew that his time was almost up. He must tell them of the girl so that they may help her, "Plane crash..days ago. Girl...only....one .....alive. Fever...needs help. Help her!"

     The man took the girl and placed her in the back seat of the car, then came back to Thaddeus, "You, what happened! Our car is stuck; we may not even be able to get out in time to help her. And you look like you need more help than she does."

     Thaddeus looked at the car, its back tires stuck in the mud. No, he could not have come so close, to let her down now. Not this close. He struggled to his feet and leaned on the back of the car a moment, "I will...free...your car. Get her...to...a doctor."

 

 

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      And with that he reached down and grabbed hold of the car's bumper and lifted. He lifted the car up out of the mud and stepped forward, pushing it free of the soft ground. And as he set the car down, he fell forward on the trunk, and looking in through the back glass, he whispered to Alicia words that she wouldn't hear, but that would be told to her later by the couple, "I love you...Alicia. And now...your angel....must go home."

     And as his final words were spoken, the clouds parted and a shaft of light came streaming down from the heavens, engulfing Thaddeus. But this light did not burn. Before the eyes of the startled couple, this strange and courageous man was healed and then he vanished as if he was never there.

     And though they couldn't prove it, they swore to each other that they heard voices singing from above that he was forgiven and had found his peace. He was being welcomed home."

     The couple got in their car and sped into town, taking the girl to the hospital. As they drove, they pondered the events of this Christmas Day.